What May come next...

Yes, I know - unnecessary play on words, but so what?  I'm at a crossroads again.  

This new job has turned out to be a disappointment; an even-unhealthier atmosphere than the one I just ran from - and worse, I'm working on the weekend again for no overtime (and a substantially smaller, regular salary) - last week and this weekend.  I am unhappy about this; I was not trying to kid myself that I'd found something that would buoy me up, but for it to reveal itself as such a toxic (sorry for the cliche, but that understates it) place on SO MANY LEVELS is confounding.  

Nonetheless, as I did previously, I will just have to view this as a temp position and hope to find something so I can move on as quickly as possible.  I'm not feeling sorry for myself - this is just the way it is.  

May has always been my favorite month and this one feels slightly off - also because the 1st was the 40th birthday of someone who was incredibly important to me and we didn't get to spend it together, which also makes me sad.  She exited my life during the pandemic - no crossed words; no arguments - no reason that I was ever able to figure, but... I hope she had a happy birthday; she will always be a part of my heart.

Maybe I'm fooling myself, but perhaps things will get better soon.  Hope and the ability to push forward is all I have.