ManicRobThrill

Tuesday, June 09, 2015

Roll on, summer

Considering the worst thing I can say right now is that my beloved New York Rangers did not get the job done and advance to the Stanley Cup finals must mean I AM living a pretty charmed life.  But I do think, as I stop for a moment to think and observe on another glorious June evening, that my life is, indeed, very good.

The days are flying by; vacation is now slightly less than two months away; I've been working on the songs and having them blossom into living pieces; I feel great physically and spending time with friends has been a welcomed and embraced element for the sake of balance and sanity.

While the world may be going to Hell all around me, it doesn't mean I will fall prey to any of the negative vibes that abound - Mercury Retrograde can fuck off as far as I'm concerned nowadays!

Thursday, May 07, 2015

Indeed...

May has always been my favorite month; it's that time when spring shows itself in full; when trees are in bloom, flowers and grass are at their most vibrant; the air has that certain scent...  Just glorious.  Although having said that, today is 80 degrees - not exactly "normal"...!

It seems like it's finally a case of limitless possibilities are before me again and I am thankful.  The music, which had been dormant, is now back in full flight; a dozen songs at the ready and (ha ha) I know what to do with each and how to do it.  The writing still goes as strong as ever - and I'm referring to both writing new songs and what I do for Popdose, etc.  My mind, body and spirit, collectively, has rid itself of any negatives that may have lingered for longer than necessary.

So what next?  I don't know.  I mean, I do but in the grand scheme, why think about it?  Here's the obvious - I work, I come home, I write, I go to the gym, I make music, I occasionally see friends, I enjoy live music, I'm going to New Orleans, I've re-invigorated my culinary skills...  Why over-analyze anything right now?  It's a good time; a fine time.

I think I've earned it.

Saturday, April 18, 2015

Around the sun

Finally, one of those perfect spring days - the kind of Saturday that says "do what you want and enjoy every moment".  It didn't start out on that note; waking to find that United Airlines arbitrarily changed our flights to New Orleans.  Good thing that it's a few months away and I was able to make the necessary re-adjustments by contacting the hotel and airport shuttle service.  Nonetheless, the aggravation quickly subsided, to be replaced by the bliss of my morning juice, muffin and coffee.  Keeping it simple; keeping it joyful and delightful.

At the same time, having the new Taylor 12-string makes the recording process one step easier and the willingness to do acoustic solo sets a firm yes; the Washburn just needs too much work for me to attempt to go out live and make it work.  So even though we're in April, the time is still early and I have things now mapped out in my mind so that I can act upon them, rather than try to find the way since now I'm there.

Patience - clarity - rationality.  It's always what serves me best.

Sunday, March 29, 2015

Hope of deliverance

It looks like the winter is finally leaving, albeit more than a week after spring officially began.  And not too soon; it's been a dark, cold and very sad few months.  The rebirth and renewal that spring offers is needed sorely - certainly by me.

I'm fine, more or less.  Things are improving, progressing, ever moving in positive directions - some things not as quickly as others, but okay - patience is always required for anything truly good.  But I don't think I'm the only one who has found it challenging and trying to maintain one's sense of balance in these recent times.  Thus, with the sun shining as it did today, it makes me feel like sitting down, focusing and jotting down my thoughts, which help me remain fresh.

Now comes April - I can take a little rain.  But let there be some warmth to complement it...

Friday, March 13, 2015

Out like a lion (or the light at the end of the tunnel)

It's taken me a while to shake off the pain and sadness after learning of my ex-girlfriend's passing; there's no way to accurately describe what I feel (still), but I know it will remain with me for some time to come.  However, life is about living, going forward and doing so with clarity and reason.  And in the aftermath of this, I feel like I've regained a sense of control that had still been lacking for some time - frustrating, to say the least, infuriating to say the most.  And now I can see things as they should be - again.  I feel like I've begun to pull myself together and things are starting to take shape the way I want them to be and go.

Physically, mentally, spiritually - I've tried to regain and maintain the balance with some faltering along the way in the not-too-distant past.  Now I feel like there's a sense of harmony coming back together again.  Strange - how tragedy can make you stop and shake off the cobwebs and remember that we're only here briefly.  Better get up and on with it again.  In the right way.

Thursday, February 26, 2015

For S.C.

Nearly three decades ago, I began dating a woman - it lasted seven plus years.  I was 21 when we met; she was 17 and it was - for all intents and purposes - love at first sight.  We had a lot of happy times together; we had a life together and in many ways, we truly grew up together.  We parted company in early 1994 and when we said our verbal goodbyes, that was the last time we ever spoke.

Two days ago, I received a message from a friend who I haven't seen in almost the same amount of time.  He told me that this woman - my ex-girlfriend - had been battling cancer for the last few years and had died this past Saturday.  I know what I read in his message - but I still am not able grasp it; the numbness that came over me seeing those words has not left my body or my mind.

I cannot pretend to say anything more than this:  my heart is broken for her family, who my first thoughts are turned to.  My prayers, love and deepest respect go out to them.  To anyone who knew her, I will hope they treasure her memory and the joy of having had her in their lives.

For me - I was just her boyfriend, once upon a time.  I will always remember her as that beautiful, kind girl who loved me and I loved in return.  And I will always love Susan as she is forever a part of me.

Friday, February 06, 2015

Turn it around

Even with this bitter cold, I haven't let it hinder me or allowed it to cloud my focus.  Everything I've been planning and working on is slowly starting to rise and take shape, which is imminently pleasing.  Feeling good and clear-headed, creative and driven is still with me - and admittedly, in the past, it's been difficult early in the year.

I think part of the juice is the inspiration I get/take from friends who have the same kind of ideas, visions and drives - the motivation is there; to be shared and fed upon.  Aside from the writing, which hasn't slowed or wavered, there's the design on improved physical health, taking the time to record and concentrate on the new music that continues to come out of my head and through my pen onto paper and the plans for new experiences, which I absolutely savor.

You can say what you want; turning 50 has brought about a major shift in thought and desire and want.  And I mean that in all the best, most positive possible ways.


 
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