ManicRobThrill

Wednesday, January 07, 2015

The big one

Although I usually don't make any statements or acknowledge my birthday, this one does merit something.  50 years old.  It's a milestone.  And a little surreal right now.  I really didn't think I'd get here, but I'm glad I have.  And I'm equally pleased to have done so with good health, no debt and a lot of positive vibes surrounding me, be it through my various relationships or by the things I do; what makes me who I am.

It's nice to still be here.  Need I say more?

Thursday, January 01, 2015

Anew

And so it is another New Year's Day.  This one does feel a little bit different - and the only reason I would be able to qualify that answer is because I'll be 50 in another 6 days.  Knowing what's coming is a little strange.  Not bad, alien, off-putting - just strange.  It's a monumental number; an achievement.

Nonetheless, I know that many of my friends had a not-great 2014; I was fortunate.  No personal or direct losses; no debt or illnesses; Liz has a completely clean bill of health as well, which is paramount and we managed to have ourselves a year of doing things.  From seeing an ample number of shows, plays and a terrific/fun vacation, I am thankful that our year was as good as it was.

The start of a new year always brings a sense of hope.  There are a few goals I'd like to reach - nothing lofty nor unrealistic; my schedule is already filling up - from another list of shows and our vacation to New Orleans already booked - so I'm of the (always cautious) optimism that 2015 will bring just as much fun and joy.  To continue to write, be on the radio and make music (one of the goals to strive toward) is really all I want to focus on.

If you're reading this (still), I wish you nothing but good things for the newly-sprung year ahead.

Tuesday, December 23, 2014

A decade later...

I can't believe this blog is now ten years old.  I can remember the night I made the decision to start blogging and wrote the first entry.  I was on the cusp of my 40th birthday - now I'm about to turn 50, which at moments, still feels a little surreal.  I had just begun going to the gym - now I'm working with a personal trainer.  At the time, I was living in Staten Island and planning to leave; we did just that, having moved to New Jersey...  and moved right back.  And of course, The Punch Line was rolling - having been deep into the recording of ...to get to the other side.  Now, I'm finally beginning to make music - again - with no pressure, time constraints - anything.  Just for the simple joy of it.

Writing on this blog at the time was unchartered waters; I said whatever came to mind - and was a mistake, as I later realized - I gave a "voice" to my thoughts as they came into my head so I wouldn't forget and to be able to reference back to those ideas, in case they had any value.  It was a means of purging and exercising my ability to write and later, helped me hone my editing skills, which has definitely come in handy since.  It was mine - and I've stayed with it.  Whether it's a mere few lines once a month or several postings because I have a lot on my mind, it's mine and it's there and it will remain so.  It's a part of me that I'm pleased to still have.

The last ten years have been incredibly transitional - the world turned upside down thanks to war, unemployment, technology and in many ways, because society on the whole became uglier and dumbed down exponentially.  I had my own changes to deal with, cope with, accept, adapt to:  death, relationships of one kind or another starting and ending, learning new things, physical changes and so on.  I do feel and believe that I've grown as a person - how could I not?  If you don't mature the right way and you're going to be 50 years old, you don't deserve a shred of respect.  I haven't become uptight or an "old man" but by virtue and way of experiences, conversation and perspective, I think I have reached an attitude commensurate with my age. 

Nevertheless, I'm glad I still have this blog and will continue to - so happy 10th birthday, my dear friend.

Thursday, November 27, 2014

Always thankful

A quick message, since today is my favorite day of the year.  After a magnificent meal with people I love dearly, I sit and smile and think on all the good things in my life.  Which is pretty much everything.

So on a day to give thanks, I do.  For what matters most.

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

Action

A very busy time - more so than before.  Not complaining, just trying to juggle and balance while maintaining the pleasure in all I've been doing.  Music being the staff of my life has now made itself comfortably a part of everything - not just the enjoyment of listening, reading about and writing it.  Now it's writing about, talking about, seeking about and seeing and listening.  I'm able to walk the beam of both musician and journalist; fan and performer. friend and critic.

And you know, that's not a bad thing at all. 

Saturday, October 11, 2014

Everyday spins

It's funny - no complaints about anything - but it amazes me:  when I think I have complete control again of my time and how to apportion it - work; time for writing, doing "Overnight America", gym, play guitar and record - other things; newer things come along.  This too, I think I've begun to master!  I reiterate - there are no negatives here; I just want to make sure that sooner than later, all the things I want (and feel I need) to do are done/achieved/accomplished.

Even something like sitting down here to write what I'm thinking about has diminished over the years, especially in this last one, but naturally, it's due to all the other writing I've done and continue to do.  But I am glad to give myself the few minutes it takes to say what I want to and clear out these few cobwebs or arcane thoughts tumbling around in my mind as new "adventures" (some of which I'd never even thought of before) start to take shape.

So I exhale, close my eyes for a moment and get right back to work...  even this late on a Saturday night.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

September song

It's funny how time changes you.  Seriously. I can remember when I was another person from who I am now and thought some very different thoughts - when living in the moment seemed like it was all that mattered and nothing else did.  That can be fine on some levels - it IS important to be here now, but you do have to consider (especially when you reach a certain age and point and time) in life's experiences that every one of your actions will have a reaction.  And no sooner than I stopped to think about possible ramifications of my actions, etc., things changed dramatically.  And if anything, it set me in the direction I've been traveling in ever since, which is one of balance to rationality to pure joy.

And as time changes a person - if you are willing to embrace change - so does it also keep some people walking in the same circle; never going anywhere.  Names and faces may be new but the stories are always the same.  The bitterness and old hurts come up again and again; the conversation remains the same.  Same.  Repetition.  Going nowhere.  Even the physical parameters are the same - never a different scene.  I cannot, in all good conscience, keep those kind of people in my life any longer, nor grant them re-entry. 

I've forded a river I have no desire to recross; I'm quite content, happy, joy-filled with only positive things in and around my sphere.  The real, daily world is out there - I live in it every day and I take part in things that matter to me.  But what doesn't matter is how anyone on a treadmill lives.  It's ponderous at best, ludicrous at most and I want nothing to do with it.

So the past firmly (yet easily) remains where it belongs - in the past.


 
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