Sunday, February 19, 2017

Close your eyes and breathe...

I'm very sad right now.  I'm not one to put my emotions out there and say this; I just need to try and get some of these thoughts out. At the moment, my own life is pained and it's a difficult time, but I'm trying very hard to regain my footing and a sense of rationality. I heard that a friend is very ill; another friend is suffering a chronic illness and watching events unfold on the news is more than discouraging. The world is upside down right now and I would dearly love and appreciate a positive, hopeful sign. And if I'm being selfish, I apologize, but I need something positive and good and solid/uplifting to help elevate me into a clearer and "right" frame of mind.

Of course, the 2-year anniversary of my ex-girlfriend's passing is in a few days and that, of course, is unbearable as well.  It doesn't matter how long ago we'd parted company - you can never negate that someone you loved for so long and shared your life with is gone.

The stress is killing me and I'm just praying to turn that positive/hopeful corner.  I live with the slightest notion that things will begin to settle down again and I'll be able to exhale.  It would be nice to be able to post something good the next time around.

Friday, February 10, 2017

Only counting the good days

Lately, things haven't been as up or as positive as I'd hoped.  This last week was one of the most difficult I've endured in a long time.  I won't go into the painful and after a few minutes, pedantic, details but it's gnawed my nerves raw.  Very little sleep; no appetite; tense and nervous.  Yet, somehow I managed to steal a few "normal" moments during the day and since I've come home from work.

I think the only way I can operate - function - for the time being is to simply take those few positive moments or even full days and look at them with gratitude and savor them.  Hopefully this cloud will  not remain over my head for long and things will have returned to normal.  I hope; I pray.

And that, too, is a very big thing.