Another year on...

It only just dawned on me that this blog is now 18 years old, which is pretty amazing, if you think about it.  Blogs came and went in the blink of an eye - and not long after I'd begun this one.  It seemed by 2008, it was outmoded and "yesterday's news".

I know I had a yen for it at the outset and then found myself less participatory over time, but I'm glad it's endured in the sense that it's still a good place for me to jot down some thoughts to see where I'm at.  I do cringe at the earliest entries, as they seemed petty and unnecessarily ascerbic, but that was then.

I'm glad to be continuing into my 19th year with this and will keep it going, even if it's only a singular monthly post, until Blogger shuts down.  Which I'm glad it hasn't.

Happy holidays to all.

Winter's bone

Still an uneasy/unsettled time.  So many uncertainties and discomforts - with my health, my job and the world in general.  

I'm following all doctors' orders and have been going for tests, taking medication now, etc. and doing what needs to be done in order to prevent the onset of prostate cancer.

My job is in an unhealthy, unstable atmosphere and I cannot, in good conscience, continue to play this game and pretend to be fine about the way people are treated, etc.  I'm too old for this and it's just getting harder and harder.

The world seems to still be looking for reasons to be angry and finger-pointing; misguided politics and ill-informed spewing of nonsense is now the order of normalcy.  It's tiring and draining.  

I can see from as objective a viewpoint as possible why I'm so disconnected.  I'm not angry - just emptied.  The pandemic saw so many of my friends and long-time relationships disappear.  Not because of me or even them, but because the circumstance turned people inside out.  

I don't subscribe to the idea of "oh, next year has got to better" - I would prefer to just wait and see, while preparing for the darkness and cold of the oncoming season.