ManicRobThrill

Saturday, April 01, 2023

Breathing again

I knew I needed to step away from everything for the last few weeks - but the good news is that I feel like I'm nearly recovered from the last two months of the most excruciating emotional upheaval.  I can't explain why that new job was so difficult but the stress and chronic anxiety is something I wouldn't wish upon anyone.  It's no hyperbole - if it would have continued, I would have had a heart attack.  Simple as that.

As things turned out, I was fired on the evening of March 14th - I simply laid my key down; took my bag, got my coat and left.  I was not going to engage in any kind of further dialogue with an excessively abusive employer.  Once I was outside, I was able to actually breathe without the feeling of dread hanging over me.  

No one ever wants to be fired from a job - and he may prevent me from getting unemployment benefits until I can find something, as he's that vindictive - but I can truly say, in the words of a very dear friend, "no, this is a blessing."  I'm not being flippant - it's better this way.  I've been going on interviews, sending out resumes and I am doing all the necessary and focused things you do in these situations.

So I am looking towards the oncoming spring with greater positivity and anticipation - a sign of much better things, including finding a new job that will be a better fit.