Friday, April 25, 2008

And it goes on and on and on and on...

While some pressures and negatives are off and settled down, thankfully, some things have not improved. By virtue of the many e-mails and phone calls, I'll just give you all an update right here. My father's ability to walk and be "independently mobile" has not improved to the degree that he needs to be able to back to the assisted living facility; this morning, I'm supposed to receive a call from the rehab nursing home, giving me a full report on what is and what may be. So the situation has not been what we were originally told--thus, fuelling my ire at this rehab center, aside from the poorest communication, lack of respect for patients' families and irresponsibility (losing some of my father's clothing in the laundry? Christ almighty.). I don't know the answer yet--will he be able to go back to assisted living or need to be moved (yet again) to full-on nursing home? I don't know.

Been playing again, with some sense of joy; I have an upcoming acoustic show and really feel the need to get in musical shape. It's nice to know it's the bicycle rider thing--pick up and play at any time, after a prolonged layoff. It always seems to happen; I need to have a reason to play as I've gotten older and that's fine.

The warm, sunny weather has helped pick up my mood, although my (minor) allergies are starting to affect me. Nonetheless, I can help but revel in the comfort of a still-light afternoon as I head home--the outdoor ride on the ferry home is still perfect. No plans but for the usual domestic chores, et al for this weekend.

I'll post the outcomes of my phone call later.

...and the post-script (almost as quickly as I posted this): just received the call from the rehab center and my father is going home to New Broadview Manor next Wednesday. Aside from the shock and very happy surprise, relief comes to mind for his sake. Thank God for small favors.

Now have yourselves a great weekend!

Monday, April 14, 2008

Strange but not surreal

I really can't put my finger on how, why and what is happening around me lately, so I won't even attempt to explain. It would be an act of futility. However, I have to say there have been many interesting remergences of people from my past - at another time and age, I might have been a little freaked out by it or downright reject any form of contact. But now it's seems to be a steady stream of new old-comers. At this point and age, it's nice. I'm glad of a fresh audience with rekindling old friends who, like myself, would like to be seen as we are now, not who we were then.


Some cases and points: on a ferry ride home, I was sitting and listening to my iPod and this rather burly, ominious looking biker dude just stopped and stood in front of me, smiling. I looked at him and strangely, I was immediately catapulted back 29 years to the beginning of high school, rather than being shit scared. Instictively, the only thing I could say to this guy was "do you still remember the words to "Whiskey Man"?" and he just burst out laughing--he was my best friend in freshman and sophomore year--haven't seen him since he left the school. We talked for the duration of the ride and exchanged numbers with the idea of getting together on his boat (which we used to do even back then) or having dinner together with our wives. Almost seems like something "adults" do--and then I remember...


Or hearing from a dear friend who I not only went to college with, but played in a band with. Happy to hear that he and his family are well; expecting another child and that life is good to him. It's nice to share the "latest", even if we live in completely different universes. Those who always matter--time can pass and the ability to pick up the conversation is still there.


On the more spiritually-inclined plane, I'm starting to come out of the coma I was in. I can actually feel it; the fact that I'm back to being more even-keeled and less-stressed. Being able to relax and actually convince myself that I'm relaxed--that's a nice feeling again. And this leads me back to the desire to resume working on ...Arlington Line. Nonetheless, the forecast for the weekend looks good--the usual chores tomorrow and a nice lunch planned; some recording time late in the day; gym on Sunday and spend time with my dad as he gets (hopefully) nearer to getting out of the rehab nursing home and back to the assisted living home. I also need to update the website a bit and generally tie up some very loose ends.

Now get out there and enjoy the amazing weather.

Tuesday, April 08, 2008

With every passing day

A brief glimpse and a momentary observation... The stresses of the last two months seem to have subsided for the time being, which is a great relief to me. My hands have managed to stop shaking and I no longer feel the sense of illness or dread which had overtaken me. It doesn't mean that I'm not attuned to the idea that things can become dark again, but at least the last few weeks and weekends have been a lot brighter. It doesn't hurt that my ties with my family are being strengthened and everyone's hope for my father is what's helping me get through his rehab period.

I'm just glad for the brief subsiding of emotional rain, y'know?

Tuesday, April 01, 2008

Fool's gold

This past weekend was, I'm happy to say, one of relaxed vibes while managing to get everything on the list accomplished. Seeing my dad, who is making slow but marked improvement; the groceries, the laundry--everything that we said we were going to do and take care of was done and there wasn't any angst about it. I can't remember the last weekend I had where I didn't think about the things that have been troubling me.

Liz has begun a new chapter; a new job. Even though this is only the second day, my hope is that she's happy there, treated with the respect she deserves and will grow comfortable and enjoy what she does again. She seemed to lose her spark with jewelry design and it's now coming back.

I've gotten a greater number of e-mails these last two weeks than I have in a long time; I'm trying to catch up now and answer them. Thank you to everyone who's been asking about my dad and how Liz is doing and (for that matter) how I am. The answer is I'm doing what I need to do and I think we all know what that means; as I do this, it leads me to believe I'm on the road to my own emotional recovery (not to get melodramatic about it; stress is a fucking nightmare).

Seeing my former compatriots this Friday night; can't wait to meet up with them. It will be good to see warm smiles again from people I care about. Another weekend to get more done around the apartment (and yes, the quasi-spring cleaning went swimmingly--only one bag of stuff to throw out!) and perhaps go to a movie or something (maybe Maxwell's on Saturday night)...

...and yes, before some of you ask, I will be updating the website and attempting to make some music this weekend!