Wednesday, June 06, 2018


Life, more often than not, seems to go through these ebbs and flows - when the wave crests and reaches a sweltering height and then flattens into stillness.  That's how things seem to be right now; a holding pattern of calm.  There are certain things that as a 53-year-old very grounded individual, I am naturally concerned about, but for the first time in quite a while, I tend to breathe with ease and sleep soundly.  All my concerns are real/physical world, tangible things and none of them are deep or insurmountable - they're not even major issues directly affecting me, per se,  but rather those around me.

At the same time, the people who are closest to me; the ones I love most I can't help but be worried and concerned about - I've watched several of them unraveling around me; watched their lives start to come apart (sometimes through no fault of their own) and it's hard.  You want to help; be useful - brace their fall but you know you can't because they need to get from this negative moment to work into positivity.  What I've been trying my best to do is proffer advice when asked and to listen without prejudice or interruption.  

All this is to say, I know at the moment, I need to rearrange a few things in my life; my schedule - the not-too-distant future.  I'm beginning to strongly feel the economics of a trip to Memphis may be too difficult; too taxing.  There's also a persistent (dare I say "nagging"?) vibe that tells me this is not the time; not the moment to make a trip that I've (creatively) visualized for the last three years.  My intuitive sense is telling me this trip would be a disappointment; that what I want it to be, it won't be - in fact, the opposite and I don't want that to happen.  So patience must be deployed and assessing the bigger picture aligned with Memphis is of paramount importance.

Time and patience...  time and temperance.