Waiting...

It's still not warm enough on a consistent basis to feel that full embrace of spring.  May has always been (and will remain) my favorite month, but it's been an odd week, let alone first few days.  Overcast, dreary, cold - then warm and back to cold...  the weather seems to be in harmony with the way people are right now - on a see-saw course.

I have new reasons for some joy - I have a new job and am still training in this new position.  While I have the background and experience in most elements, there are systems here that I have to learn - and it's a process.  I have the confidence in doing this, but I don't know how much time is available before I'm thrown into the deep end.  We'll just have to wait and see.  I do feel a much greater sense of calm than I have in 3 years - that isn't an overstatement.

Against my better judgement or desire, I signed on for the single COVID-19 vaccine - just for the sake of not having to worry if it becomes a mandatory work requirement.  And as it stands now, most of my office has been inoculated against it.  I'm not making any political statement - it's simply that I've take a flu shot every year for the last 26; I was not ill in any way during this time of the pandemic - and I do have my trepidations about the side/after affects of these shots.  

I don't know - I don't think this is a negative viewpoint, per se, but I just don't feel any of the usual emotions that I experience during May - the two people I love most were born in May; I met my ex in May; we christened The Punch Line in May...  it's always been a month of joy.  I feel even keeled and floating.  But then again, there hasn't been anything to make my heart race since long before the pandemic.

I will say - with an air of positivity - that it's nice to just go with the proverbial flow right now.