ManicRobThrill

Friday, February 27, 2009

Wondering

Still in that period of adjustments. Seeing friends lose their jobs but spending time with friends and family to talk, console and just be there. The same applies for tonight. 65 degree Friday says it's time to go to Maxwell's and enjoy a loose night of drinks and good conversation. I still get the same rush of joy, as trite as it sounds, taking the PATH and getting out in Hoboken.

As I've managed to this point to dodge the plague that's overtaking everyone, I am still pulled towards the inevitable and sadly justifiable negative vibes, as much as I'm fighting it. I think a night like last night (dinner and drinks with my cousin) and tonight will help keep me on the right path. I just don't want to feel unnecessary pangs, y'know? It's hard to not get sucked in, but I'm fighting it.

Sorry to sound so mope-y. Thankfully, the February blahs will soon end.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Start swimming...

While I refuse to yield to negative vibes, I seem to be surrounded by them on a constant/daily basis. A lot of backbiting, sycophantic spewing and unnecessary shit stirring. In the eyes of some of my closest friends and confidants, I see a hesitation; a fear; an uncertainty and it's painful. In many ways, I understand it fully because I have been in that state of mind on more than one occasion and it's a crippling thing. I don't try to give anyone answers; I don't pretend to know any more than they do--all I try to do is keep moving forward and I have been forcing myself, with degrees of success in a step-by-step fashion, to just keep thinking "whatever happens, happens". It may be all too easy and a cop out, but I can't project things that are not or may never be.

That being said, in my own little orbit, I seem to feel a steady ground under my feet. The end of February equals the ending to the darkest days of winter and March always brings a positive feeling. Things are happening; there are people to see; shows to go to; music to be heard and warmer breaths to be drawn in.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Back in the saddle...

Music be the food of life, so I've been over-induging! The playing, the passion, the joy is there. The songs breathe and move; the sound is full and rich and I know I'm onto the right album here. I am hopeful--ever hopeful--that I wind up with too many songs so that I have a hell of a time choosing what to officially release.

At the same time of this musical reinvigoration (could it be my early spring?), I've also been hitting the gym with the same verve I did a few years ago. I've been feeling all the right elements are aligned in my life--my health, my thoughts, my physical regimen, my sleep patterns. I'm even slowly moving in a vegetarian direction again. There are no stresses allowed--even with the daily black reality being what it is, I know it's there and I'm not letting it bother me the way it may have in another time.

And a momentary editorial: you should be listening to the following--it's the perfect vibe for this kind of weather:

Donovan - Sunshine Superman (the EMI re-issue, especially for the 1st version of "Museum")
Richard Barone - Cool Blue Halo: it's the first and still the best because you feel every breath of it
The dB's - Like This
Pentangle - Basket Of Light

Now, on the flipside of positive thinking... In a time of trying to be understanding, I have to put forth one to-the-point statement/opinion. Nadya Suleiman should be publicly flogged. She's made a sick game of milking an already fragile system and looking for a handout for her 14 kids. I find it nauseating that the taxpayers of California are inevitably going to have to foot the bill for her twisted dream-turned-nightmarish-reality. I don't feel her story as "touching" in any way; it's hideous and she's simply insane. As I've stated before, don't come at me with a rebuttal; this is my opinion (although I'm certainly not alone in this point of view and many others feel even stronger than I). Once again, it falls into my theory of stupid people should not be allowed to have children. It's bad enough less-than-stellar couples will have more than one child and not know how or where the money to pay for them will come from--current society needs an abomination like this? Ugh.