Thursday, June 30, 2005

Acasual connecting principle

No sooner than I posted yesterday's blog, I read an article in this month's Utne (same issue as my iPod rebuttal) about the collapse of friendship and the process of weeding out and essentially "breaking up" with that friend. Funny, I write two entries on the topic of past and present friendships and I'm reading a personal account of the author's break-up with a (now-former) friend. Yes, yes, I know; it's Jung's theory of synchronicity--and no, I'm not referring to Synchronic Entertainment; I'm not that gauche--but that was the first thought going through my mind as I read the article. Nice to know I'm not alone. However, I wouldn't go to the pains of writing a letter, spelling out my reasons, etc.--that's just a tad too overdramatic. I prefer the quiet fade into the sunset; the less-and-less phone calls; the lame, half-hearted excuses of why we haven't the time to get together. That's more my speed. I prefer not to go through the pains and machinations of pointing out someone else's foibles to teach them a lesson. If you fuck up on a constant, I get sick of you. It means you bring nothing to the table but excuses; I'll blank you very quickly. Or you constantly piss and moan about how terrible (your) life is--after a while, a symapthetic ear turns deaf. I hate to say it, but I just don't care that much. I'm selfish. My life is very nice. I like it this way. I don't have any requirements nor room for bad vibes.

Some room for ironies on this subject: stopped at my old job last night on the way back from my dad's. It was great seeing Jane, Mike and Andrea--it's been a little over a year, but nonetheless, I missed them. And it felt, in an odd way, like home.

Just got through Y.M.-ing with J.W. He is sorely missed here, but Liz and I will be seeing him next week. Good to know he's well and happy. A change will do you good. Didn't the object of my desires say that? Again, great to know he's out there.

So enough on the week's topic and enjoy the upcoming holiday.

Everyone is an authority in a free land...

Wednesday, June 29, 2005

You shouldn't go home again

Did you ever get a phone call, letter or e-mail from someone you hadn't seen/heard from or thought of in years? I have. On several occasions. At the outset, you're happy and excited to hear from them; there may come moments when you remember why you lost communication. Or that moment of dread when you think "why are they getting in touch?". And you remember why you no longer wanted to keep them in your life. I've had a lot of that over the last few years; some instances were welcomed; in fact, hoped for (as with my cousin); some have been stunning surprises and most have been "oh well... maybe that wasn't such a great idea".

The problem in reconnecting with someone you knew or were involved with in a past life is misperception. They may expect you to still be that same person they knew then, which you would hope, you are not now. And that's a bad thing. I've gone through this syndrome X amount of times and even though I was able to gently say "you know, I'm not him anymore. I've grown; I've changed", more often than not, words fall on deaf ears. It used to anger me; now I shrug my shoulders as when I'm in one of these situations, I've realized that while I've changed, the other person has not. And I presume that reaching out to me is a form of them trying to recapture a part of their past. It's a kind sentiment, to be sure, but I have grown more and more disdainful towards it.

You wind up reliving the "good old days", with the endless anecdotes of what was and you laugh. Or, the flipside being the person always tells an embarrassing story about you in that time where you wind up being the point of ridicule when you didn't ask for it. Then it becomes almost the repeated basis of conversation. You wind up having a chat that you could have recorded in 1983 and saved for posterity so as not to tread on already-walked upon ground. It's a bit deflating when you try to talk about all the good things that are going on in your life and all the other person wants to do is show and tell everyone around them how it used to be--the in-jokes, the places you'd hang out at, the people you knew--the need to impress. A cliche, but also a sad state of affairs.

The most uncomfortable of all has to be meeting up with (or actually being contacted by) an ex. While I occasionally get a friendly e-mail from a few women I dated casually, I shudder to think what would happen, should I ever hear from one of my former girlfriends. I'm not hoping for it; I don't dread it; I don't care overall but if it should happen, that's fine; I'd go to meet as it's only proper--but it's a point of thought in all this. As I've said before, if they wanted to communicate or actually meet, I'd just hope they wouldn't look at me as the guy I was but who I am now--happy, healthy, in complete control and settled in all aspects of my life.

The past is supposed to be something to draw upon with pride and affection; as a means of knowing how not to repeat mistakes and for the broad strokes on the canvas of perspective. It's not supposed to be today. Be here now--this is where I am. I am here. Where are you?

Tuesday, June 28, 2005

Weekend rewind (let us prey)

Yes, it was a standard weekend for Liz and myself. Never let it be said that a good old-fashioned "date" with your wife/husband isn't good for the soul. And a blood-and-guts zombie movie is the perfect antidote to a heavy work week. "Land Of The Dead" was a hoot. Had a light snack after we bought the tickets; made an obligatory stop at Whole Foods afterwards (bring it on, motherfuckers--yes, I AM indie-yuppie. Fuck you.). Out the door early Saturday--off to do the "suburban couple" rounds--heavy duty heat will make you head for the nearest mall. And in the beauty of modern mall culture, managed to find the one thing that will bring you out of an 98 degree (that's what the sign said) near-coma--the nectar of the gods. Watched "In Good Company"--a suprisingly pleasant movie. Much better than I'd expected. Sunday saw us at the gym by 9; again, surpassing previous goals and a kickass workout with the weights that completely invigorated me, considering it was even hotter than it had been on Saturday. Made an impromtu drive up to Hoboken for lunch--something in the back of my mind has been pointing me towards a minor vegetarian revival. Stopped at the natural foods store before heading home to the sweet sanctuary of air conditioning. Laundry last night after work; a quick vacuum and the housework was done--all was in order by the time Liz got home from the gym and a relaxing evening watching "Six Feet Under". Thus, here I am today.

The Punch Line seem to be heading on the right track. I've informed Chris and Bob that we now have a definitive date and timeframe to work with--September 22nd street date for get to the other side; this means a delivery date to the manufacturers for the master on August 19th. Having a clear cut schedule means there should be no more excuses nor delays to finish mixing the album. At an average of about 2 songs per session over the next few weeks, this will be achievable. Plus, we've been communicating production ideas and notes on a constant, so there should be no crossed wires or misinterpretations. Some of the songs have been mixed to the point of being near ready (case and point, "Train Of Thought" and "Beauty Lies"); all they would need is a minor tweak here and there. I'm not taking it lightly; I'm hoping that the conclusion of this project is less problematic than the recording process had been. The end product is going to be (certainly) something we will be proud of and I still believe we all saw the same thing when we listened to the final playback of the roughs--"this is what we wanted, the way we wanted it". So I remain vigilant and unyielding in how and when I see this being completed.

Beyond that, work is good--busier for me than it has been for a while, so if you're wondering why my blog time has decreased, there's your answer. I like it; I enjoy it. So with that said, I will return to my daily agenda and make a satisfied retreat.

Friday, June 24, 2005

Elevated observations?

I tried writing earlier, but it sounded forced and like absolute bullshit, even though it was a few sentences. That's exactly the kind of thing I never want to do when I post. Even if what I say sounds empty and "who cares if you guys went to Starbucks?", it's still actuality as opposed to contrived writing. So I scrapped the previous attempt.

Work is fine; I'm busy and it's good. No complaints. The day is warm and beautiful and I'm looking forward to a formal "date" with Liz tonight--movies, coffee. It's been a while since we did something like this; I'd guess the closest was the night we had dinner (last month) at Cafe Le Figaro. We need things like this--it helps us to diffuse from the work week together and sets up a usually good/fun/productive weekend. I'm also feeling physically better. No more congestion; I still don't know if it was really a newly-developed affliction of allergies or what. And I'm also regaining my grip on my dietary habits. It's also back to the gym Sunday morning.

I'm quietly observing things around me that put me off, make me not want to socialize or even be remotely aligned with various people--"friends", if you will. I've taken the pains to put that word in quotes because when you've reached a certain limit, you begin to question the validity of the relationship. The stagnant conversations; the constant clashing of ideas or ideals; the uncomfortable tension when you're in the same room--it adds up and either comes crashing down or you make the conscious decision to remove yourself quietly from the equation and sever ties. It's at times a bit stunning to me to be such a casual observer in this scenario, when I'm the one who's starting to see that some of my friendships are about as valid as a politician's smile. Time erodes everything, including relationships on all levels. Except with some, you're caught unawares. Believe me, I've already gotten over my initial shock at the realization, but although my stance of disconnect has softened, it makes the inevitable just that--inevitable. Bottom line is sooner or later, all good things come to an end. And if you're astute enough to be emotionally prepared, then there's less the tears spent.

Okay, enough reflection and rumination. Time to get back to the real world's work before I wrap it up. Have yourselves a good weekend.

Wednesday, June 22, 2005

Here's the rope... swing with it

For once, I actually have something to say in terms of venting my spleen. I'll try not to turn this into a rant as opposed to a kneejerk reaction with some intelligence towards an article I've just read. I will preface the forthcoming by saying this is a tiresome subject that keeps cropping up and I honestly can't fathom why someone would waste their time (over) analyzing such an mundane topic (when you get down to brass tacks).

I love the Utne Reader; have been a subscriber for the better part of 14 years. The latest issue has an article about the problem of those immersed in iPod. This is the 6th or 7th time I've seen or heard stories castigating those of us who enjoy their music and their solitude. What right or business is it of someone to look down upon people who have no desire to "interact"? Let me attempt to give you examples of my take--and that I'm actually on the defensive is pretty pathetic:

a) No one enjoys commuting. While I'm on the ferry, either going to or coming home from work, I have my iPod and can enjoy music that will either fit the mood of the day while I gather my thoughts, organize my notes or try to diffuse after a long day. It's simple.

b) I don't particularly enjoy being hostage to hearing loud, obscenity-laden conversations with some of the downright buffoons that ride the ferry, nor do I want to hear the incesant buzz of gibbering tourists or teenage cretins on their cellphones.

c) Music is there to enhance, enrich and be something of an immolient in my life.

d) On a technical level, with iPod (or any personal mp.3 player), you no longer hear the spillage from someone else's headphones and you're less likely to be annoying to the person next to you.

Who are you (to the author) to be so patronizing? I'm not someone who needs people; who needs to have connection and communing with nature or God or public activism. I don't care. And it's my choice to not care, whether you like it or not. What concerns me concerns me; what doesn't doesn't and listening to music on an iPod to soothe whatever may trouble my soul at that particular moment should be of no consequence to you. Here's a novel concept. Mind your own damned business. The author comes off as one of those insufferable (faux) do-gooders; the politically-correct bullshitters and ex-hippies (or hippie-wannabes) who want to see all of us blend in a cultural stew of joy and harmony.

How about respecting the rights to peace, quiet, good music and privacy? Whatever happened to that?

Just a thought. Or a rebuttal.

Monday, June 20, 2005

Weekend rewind (comfortably numb)

After a week's discomforts, I can finally breathe again with some clarity. I think I've developed normal allergies because I just can't think of what brought this latest irritation on. Add to the fact that when I saw Bob on Thursday, he was feeling the same. About Thursday...

Had a great time. While a flash rain storm and heavy traffic on the G.S.P. was the only dither, I managed to hear the Mets win their only game of the last week, meet up with Bob pretty much on time and had a great conversation on the ride down to Asbury Park. Also had a chance to hear the 1st mixes of "Inside" and "Bitter Sweet", which false modesty aside, pretty much left me stunned, especially "Inside". At moments, I couldn't really fathom that it's us. Nonetheless, Asbury Lanes has so much atmosphere; was so cool that I couldn't get over the almost adolescent joy I derived from it. It has to be said, the women there were staggering. Sexy, stylish, glamourous and made a draining day quite uplifting (lemme get a amen). Felt like an 18 year old again. The bowling alley looks unchanged from when it opened in the '50's; the d.j. was playing good music (all on vinyl) and the folks we spoke to seemed pretty nice. 5 bands, "We Jam Econo" - $5.00. Can't beat that. Beer was plentiful, cold and cheap and all in all, a night to be savored and appreciated.

Friday, an aborted attempt to take the car to be fixed, but managed to find a notary public to take care of these annoying legal papers. Was nice to have the apartment to myself all day with the sun shining and (truth be told) pigging out on downright junk food (call it "comfort" food in my world)--pizza, chips, Ben & Jerry's and fuck you to anyone who takes umbrage at my I-don't-feel-well diet. I also had barely gotten any sleep so I was pretty much in and out of consciousness.

Saturday was chore day but we made it fun and light--the usual and kept it down in terms of stress and gotta-get-it-done-now bullshit. Yesterday was pretty much the same with a great deli lunch at Golden's and a bit of a spending spree on product for both of us. Sat around watching the idiot box and tried to get myself back in the mindset for work.

So here we are. Got a surprise when I checked in on The Punch Line website; Chris did some nice updates to it and hopefully, this will lead to those folks who visit to keep checking and see the now-happening changes. A good vibe? I hope so. Would like to continue mixing. If I like what I've heard so far, I can only imagine the quality of this when it's done.

Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Foggy notion

Still fighting off this cold or congestion or whatever it really is. At least my head isn't in such a haze. Taking Airborne, Advil and I brought Ricola, just in case (even though, thankfully, I don't have a sore throat). Nonetheless, it's aggravating. Ever since the last round of colds, I've been taking echinacea as part of my daily supplements anyway, so hopefully it has some effect.

Went to the gym last night and really worked out with a great deal of energy. The reason I bring this up is I almost feel like I actually did sweat out the ill-effects on the machines. Had a full session and felt almost normal by the time I dressed and headed home. I was obviously pretty beat, but it helped clear out the mental cobwebs from feeling so wretched. Summer cold = maximum discomfort.

Taking Friday off from work; supposed to go down to Asbury Park with Bob tomorrow to see "We Jam Econo" (again--can't wait for the DVD). I'll talk to him hopefully tonight to confirm, should things go as planned. Really looking forward to the day off. No grand intentions--take the car to Midas, since I didn't last week; take care of various bits and pieces of things that need to be done around the apartment. No pun intended, but time to get the house in order.

Beyond that, I'm still not firing at 100%, so I'll abandon ship here.

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Innocent/guilty as sin

Yes, I will make my commentary on Michael Jackson. Everyone in this case was guilty of one thing or another; everyone was an embarrassment--most horrific are the fans, who spew the most mindless nonsense about their (sham) idol's vindication. Their displays outside a court of law are enough of an indictment. Damnable and disgraceful.

Another day in which I don't feel well. I'm now feeling congested, to the degree that I fear I may be catching a cold, which in summer is the worst. Nonetheless, to the gym I go tonight.

Will be e-mailing Chris and Bob shortly to try and schedule an upcoming Saturday for mixing. I'm still not sure what should be done with overhauling the web site's layout. I'm trying to not think about it too much.

The heat is making me lazy and not particularly concerned with much of anything; I prefer to be in focus with everything I do, not lackadaisical.

Methinks I should stop here and chill out for a while, both physically and mentally.

Monday, June 13, 2005

Weekend rewind (hot hot heat)

I'm not going to be so pedantic as to sit here and ruminate about how hot it is; it's unbearable, oppressive and difficult to contend with, especially so early in the morning. Brain melt? You'd better believe it.

A quiet Friday night, directly home to two cold pints of ale; just like the days of Atlantic after a long and sometimes trying work week. Feet propped up to watch the Mets lose and my mind with the switch set to "off", except while having a heart-to-heart with Liz. Watched "The Woodsman" with Kevin Bacon; an excellent character study. Good way to cap the evening off.

A good night's sleep led to a busy Saturday--the usual Starbucks and groceries, though we must have gotten lucky with the heat being as bad as it is--the grocery store was pretty quiet, yet well stocked. Took care of my dad and ourselves in no time. Put in his air conditioner and then headed off to New Jersey for lunch and shopping. The need for newer summer clothes was met; can you say "sale"? A word I like. A few pairs of shorts for weekends; camo pants for those days when the gym beckons after work; polo shirts that make me look like the older "preppie" (ha ha ha) that I am (was?). Also managed to save quite a nice bit of $ on a beard trimmer, since Liz tries to avoid too much contact (boo hoo). Best of all was the need for a pair of black leather slides, which seem to be at points out of stock, but I found a fabulous pair on sale at Macy's. Nothing that I would consider to be purchases that "break the bank"; if anything, a steal, really. Once home, we stayed in and watched the gogglebox and turned in early.

Got to the gym yesterday before 8:30; hit the elliptical and treadmill hard; did my routines in the weight room and felt fantastic afterward. A quick stop for iced coffee led us to make a visit to the zoo, which Liz had wanted to see for a while and had suggested on Friday. It was still early, quiet and not dreadfully hot--yet. The red pandas were the highlight, along with the meerkats and the petting zoo. I sometimes find zoos to be depressing and unfair (not to get on some animal-rights soapbox), but at the same time, these animals that are endangered have a safe haven. Afterwards, took a long drive and headed into Jersey (again) for a meal at Jose Tejas. A good way to end the weekend, as I had no energy to do laundry once we were in. Spoke to Brian at great length for the first time in a few weeks and watched t.v. in the cool, quiet haven that is our home (not counting the one moment when Moonie threw up a hairball, the poor baby).

So that leads to the here and now, where it's been busy enough that I have no less than 6 items already completed from today's agenda. Got to do laundry and yoga tonight; still need to sit down and take detailed notes about the band's web site. It's becomes more discouraging every time I look at it since nothing on it has changed in God only knows how long. It's evident that I need to write at least some bullshit concerning the completion of recording and the beginning of the mixing. There are certainly enough hits to the site that I need to make sure people remain interested and we've got to give them something to take notice of. The homepage is my main concern--to let visitors know things are happening and that they should read on. I know I've said it before, but the links page needs tweaking, as there are things that have absolutely nothing to do with us on there--at least not anymore. It's time for a makeover, pure and simple.

The site aside, we also need to get back to being active as a band--continue with mixing (not in a state of aggravated "let's get on with it"; let's focus) and refreshing our chops as a live unit. There are times when you can't help but sit back and observe your own situation and say "this is a good band, but we need to be a band". The proverbial cut the shit of extraneous nonsense that has nothing to do with the band or the music. Just get to fucking work. Once all the b.s. is pushed aside, whenever we're in a rehearsal studio, the music flows and that's all it should ever be about.

Thursday, June 09, 2005

An observation by King Crimsonfaced

Let's start with it's damn hot. Uncomfortably, unhealthily so. I'm already sweated and feeling disgusting, even though we have a good a.c. system in the office. Hopefully, the energy-sapping heat will not deter me from going to the gym tonight and keeping on track. I don't smell an excuse, but I definitely would rather be taking a siesta in a cool dark room.

Looked at The Punch Line's website again; at something of a loss as to what needs to be done with/to it. To say "overhaul" is obvious and overstating things. I can easily see that the Rickenbacker on the heading needs to go; we need to announce (as minute as this is) on the front page that the recording IS complete; that I now have a website and can create a link to it and that we've been at work writing and preparing new material in the absence of gearing up for live shows. It's funny how some people would presume that this so-called "lack of action" would mean dire circumstances, but I don't see it that way. The Punch Line goes on. Period. I know Bob has material; I have material and if Chris works out his schedule, then perhaps he'll deliver material. It's not as if this band has ever been short of new songs. There are moments that I become impatient at the lack of progress, since we started this whole thing up again, but I also know that this isn't my lifeblood anymore and that I do this for the joy of it. Still, there's a happier medium to be found somewhere. Yes, the mixing has begun, but how long will that take? Then the artwork needs to be finalized and we need to shoot some photos (nothing ridiculous or worse, pompous). Patience is a virtue, but at what cost of time?

Another thing (totally off the prior topic) is this notion/oft-repeated phrase I hear about "indie-yuppie". What kind of shit is that? What? Because I work in tech (now) and have a cell phone and enjoy Frappuccinos and listen to older "punk" (what a dirty word that's become) and have no connection to newer music? Wow, talk about reducing anyone to a sub-cultural stereotype. I guess the next time Liz and I have lunch at a pizza chain for the sake of a nice, full-meal, I should be wearing an alligator on my shirt and boat shoes on my feet with a fresh tan, but with a pierced nose. I don't know--what the fuck do indie-yuppies look like?

Wednesday, June 08, 2005

Back for good

Just found out that my closest friend/confidant at the company is leaving at the end of today. This is difficult and a bit hard to absorb at the moment. I'm sure he'll be fine--there isn't any lapse of work for him, but it won't be the same, certainly from the personal end. He was the first person kind enough to befriend me almost as quickly as I came in, so he will be missed. Rock on, J.W.

Felt great last night after a good workout. When you feel it, you know it and last night I managed to pick up right where I left off. The only downside after the gym (and a refreshing shower) was the sweltering heat. Disgusting. Ran into Liz on the way up from the ferry (she was sitting somewhere else), watched another stellar performance from Pedro and rocked to "The Shield"--one of the few T.V. shows I will not miss.

Time to get in touch with Chris and ask him his intentions for the website; it's reached a point of staleness. I'm trying to think of things to add--certainly I know what I would like to see subtracted, but it definitely needs an overhaul, because it just isn't interesting.

It's a strange time; I'm not sure if I'm uneasy or what, but with the changes at work, the slow tread of the band and things at home, I need to step back before I feel a sense of panic, which I'm usually not prone to do. Something's up, but I won't let my imagination run away with me. Especially not now, not after finally pushing myself out of the semi-funk I was in for the last few months. Onward and upward, you know.

Monday, June 06, 2005

Weekend rewind (reconnect/disconnect)

Happy accident on the ferry ride home Friday night; ran into one of my cousins, whom I haven't seen since our gandmother's funeral a year ago. He seems like a really nice kid; I hope this is the start of a re-establishment of ties. As the hero (elder statesman/cousin Marc) once said, not too long ago, "we are not our parents and we haven't any excuses". So it was a good start to the 48-hour respite from the city.

Ran the usual Saturday errands, albeit with Starbucks and without having to drive into Jersey; Brotherman came over for dinner; I cooked (got to love that Greek yogurt dressing for the chicken); he bought wine and many pints of ale--shandies were made and drunk by all and undoubtedly, a good time was had by the three of us while his lovely (new) lady was away. Watched "The Decline Of Western Civilization" and forgot how truly awful some of those bands were. I also had the chance to test drive (so to speak) my main man's '62 Fender Jaguar. Jesus, that was sweet. Has a great feel and sound and as soon as it was in my hands, I was doing my best Tom Verlaine-isms. While all this was going on, Liz had the happy surprise of an e-mail from her long-missing-in-action best friend, the lovely Courtney (who was our witness at our wedding).

Puttered about yesterday after a quick trip to pick up some new (and incredibly tasteful) dishes; after 3 years, you get tired of the same damn cups and plates. Installed the air conditioners and had some welcome relief from the sudden sweltering heat. Was lazy; will do laundry tonight and get my ass to the gym tomorrow. It really is time.

The one thing that really shocked me and I'm still a bit surprised at the how-and-why is the end of the New York City "oldies" radio station, WCBS. This has been a staple of the airwaves since I was a child and it's now become this generic hodgepodge of bullshit that I have no desire to hear. This is proof again that the inevitability is if you want to listen to the radio and hear something you like, you have no alternatvive but to subscribe to satellite. I prefer NPR at this stage of the game, but every now and then, I enjoyed hearing something like "Judy In Disguise With Glasses" or "No Milk Today" coming out of the car stereo with that amazing AM-styled echo. It's a sad state of affairs; as The Impostor said, quite rightly, "the radio is in the hands of such a lot of fools, trying to anaesthetize the way that you feel". God only knows, it's so innocuously dull on the airwaves, there's no need for medication--it'll bore you to sleep. A downer, I know.

Friday, June 03, 2005

Kiss the cook

No, like the slack-ass bastard that I've been, I felt too ill and tired (truthfully) for the gym last night. Watched baseball (go Mets!) and chatted briefly with Liz, mostly about politics and the bleak future of the Democratic Party. Wasn't feeling all too sociable last night, but managed to sleep soundly and shake off the blahs of the last few days. Already today is a marked improvement--proud to say I haven't spent a cent on lunch this week, having brought my own since Tuesday and free pizza today (actually, every Friday). And I don't even have to worry about eating out tomorrow, either.

Speaking of which, picked up Greek yogurt, as I'm cooking dinner tomorrow night for Liz, The Man and myself--the lad's got the evening off and deserves to have some family around him. Plus, cooking for Liz and my friends gives me pleasure and relaxation. I'm sure we'll have some good wine, plus music and loads of "moving" conversation. Want to get out to the market early tomorrow and pick up some good herbs and fruits for dinner. Plans like this always put me in a good mood. Sunday-- gym for sure, especially since it's Liz and I going and exhorting one another. I'll be in work late on Monday as I'm finally taking the damn car in to have the muffler fixed, as per J.W.'s inspection/direction. Pre-summer prep and tying up loose ends.

Need to spend some more time working on the website. Although I updated it yesterday by virtue of the "news" page, I need to make additions to the "F.A.Q., etc." page and other minor tweakings. Since the album will be coming out in not too long a period of time, it pays to prep everything so I don't have to scramble later on.

Have a good weekend.

Thursday, June 02, 2005

Getting it back without the fanfare

For the last few days, I've been feeling under the weather again. Not mentally, just an odd "off"-ness physically. Really makes me wonder and worry a little. I won't harp on it, but it's becoming a drag. If there's any consolation, it seems a lot of people I speak with have been experiencing the same thing. Maybe it's just a case of yet another malady going around, but how many times in how many months?

Looking back at my previous post, as I suspected, I'm already over the Monday situation. Like I said, we got work done. I'm glad that this project is coming to an end, as I've often wondered if I'd lose my pleasure with these songs--the tedium of recording it the way we had; the fact that some of these songs (at the core) were written nearly 20 years ago and so on. Plus (and this is something Bob and I have discussed) , these songs at this moment in time don't seem to be particularly representative of us anymore. I think he and I certainly have grown beyond the (this is NOT a bad word) "pop" elements of this album. This was a lush, all-encompassing, painstakingly well-crafted album that embodies everything we (certainly I) loved in our (my) musically formative years, but from the self-critical eye, it's an album that really was made with our hands in the past. I will say that the songs I'm working on now/ready to deliver to The Punch Line are (and I know I've said this before) a lot more bare bones; a denser and harder (dare I say darker) sound and the lyrics are far more "mature" (can't think of any other way to phrase it). It isn't a knock or dismissal of get to the other side--quite the contrary. I stand by what I've said about this record--I love it; I'm proud of it. But okay--The Punch Line's long-overdue springboard has been launched and now it's time to show the progression of nature and our talents as The Punch Line.

Aside from the fact that the album's been wrapped up (for all intents and purposes), I'm starting to calmly get my head back together about taking care of myself again. No doubt about it--I definitely fucked up over the last 2 1/2 months. I'm glad that I have a better sense of recognition about it all now--get the diet back on track (and no, that doesn't mean some bandwagon-jumping fad diet); get back to regular, regimented workouts (like tonight); keep solid with my SY practice and generally clean out the mental cobwebs that I let be woven since the spring began. Been reading a lot again, to keep my mind and my conversational skills primed and socializing with the right people--people who bring me up and can ruminate on any topic, rather than the suffocation of unidimensional conversation.

All in all, as I write this, I can see the clarity of thought--not the incessant ramblings of an angry dude.