Goodbye and hello

Last night was one of the most painful and difficult nights I've had in years.  I had to say goodbye to my beautiful, little 18-year old cat, Nibbles.  In the course of 72 hours, she suddenly deteriorated to the degree that she would not have survived the night and I could not bear the thought of her having to suffer for one moment longer.  At 11 p.m., I called the vet's office, who, bless them, are open until midnight.  They told me to come in and were beyond kind, helpful and gently comforting.  I stayed with Nibbles until she was gone, kissing her and telling her how much I loved her, how proud I was to be her daddy and how grateful I was to have had her in my life for so long. 

It's never easy doing this; this is the third time I've experienced this kind of pain and loss.  And although 18 years is a long life for a pet, it doesn't lessen the heartache.  I found her when she was maybe three weeks old - I didn't think she would even survive - and yet, here I was, 18 years later, not wanting to let her go yet knowing it was the only thing I could do one last time for her.  So I say:  Nibbles, my precious little baby - I love you forever; I'll miss you and I'll see you again.

All this comes as Liz and I celebrate our 14th wedding anniversary.  And after years of turbulence and uncertainty, we are together; stronger than ever and filled with more love, determination and hope than before.  So this is a truly happy and meaningful anniversary.  My only wish is for more years of this kind of mutual joy.

That and I wish it came without the tears, but so too, we will celebrate the life of a wonderful, special little girl.