Wednesday, August 05, 2020

Riding the waves to somewhere...

6 months since COVID-19 began crippling the world (and life in general); 5 months since I began working at home.  I still feel good, physically - and I've taken some wise steps to make sure that I remain healthy.  I scheduled two medical appointments next week - dentist and gastroenterologist.  It's two years since my last teeth cleaning, so I'm overdue.  And at 55, I'm late with having a consultation for a colonoscopy.  So that's finally on the docket.  Later on, I'll schedule a proper physical because that's another one that's gotten away for me - like 15 years.  Although everything is at a standstill, I feel the need to reshape certain elements in/of my life - and going to doctors for the sake of remaining in good physical health is paramount.  I already have my yearly appointment with my eye doctor set for next month - it's a matter of checking off necessities from the list.

Part of these changes do - sadly - include another cleaning out of the emotional closet.  The jettisoning of a very long-term relationship (albeit, a friendship) is always a painful, taxing, difficult process.  But when you clearly see that the end is coming - and in essence, has arrived - you should do the rational thing and just let go.  It makes me sad, but I watched the slow decline.  I tried to save it and my efforts were for naught, so okay - I did my best.  I'm not a martyr here; I don't feel any recriminations; I'm not angry, just disappointed.  When the communication becomes a one-way street, it's pointless.  But that's part of the cycle.  I walk away with my head held high and with appreciation for the years.

At the same time, little things are the seeds of joy planted.  I have a scheduled day off from work next week to spend at the beach - giving me a long weekend.  I have some new books and albums to digest and devour...  this is a good time for refreshment/reset/rejuvenation.  And once the gyms finally reopen, I'm going to be there, daily, if possible.  I also want to give myself a spa day in October; it's a little costly but it's a worthwhile investment.

As I've said on many occasions, I'm using this period as something to be treasured; lessons well-learned and filled with positivity. 


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