February's quiet no. 2

I've come to the realization that I don't like the month of February; this one in particular has been harsh in that two dear friends lost loved ones in a day of one another.  This is also the month when I (certainly) am cruelly reminded that the woman I once loved and shared my life with also passed away - gone four years now.  It is a month that I am on auto-pilot and glad that it's the shortest.

My lack of energy, drive or interest in most things is a curiosity to me.  I can come up with a host of ideas as to why, but right now, I am physically wiped out.  Oddly enough, in this state, I'm being productive on a low-scale level.  Doing writing, being on top of things at work as much as possible (when not at the mercy of waiting for others), etc. - trying to keep moving and not lie dormant until next month.

I know all too well, as the song says, "you're in a rut - you gotta get out of it" and I do.  And I'm trying.  Which is all anyone CAN do.