Winter's bone

Still an uneasy/unsettled time.  So many uncertainties and discomforts - with my health, my job and the world in general.  

I'm following all doctors' orders and have been going for tests, taking medication now, etc. and doing what needs to be done in order to prevent the onset of prostate cancer.

My job is in an unhealthy, unstable atmosphere and I cannot, in good conscience, continue to play this game and pretend to be fine about the way people are treated, etc.  I'm too old for this and it's just getting harder and harder.

The world seems to still be looking for reasons to be angry and finger-pointing; misguided politics and ill-informed spewing of nonsense is now the order of normalcy.  It's tiring and draining.  

I can see from as objective a viewpoint as possible why I'm so disconnected.  I'm not angry - just emptied.  The pandemic saw so many of my friends and long-time relationships disappear.  Not because of me or even them, but because the circumstance turned people inside out.  

I don't subscribe to the idea of "oh, next year has got to better" - I would prefer to just wait and see, while preparing for the darkness and cold of the oncoming season.