I looked in the mirror

First, about the music--it's coming along fine. Progress is progress!

Thanksgiving was perfect; relaxing and fun and as always, it remains my favorite holiday.

In looking over this blog and reading through the last four years, I've seen so much change in me and how I feel (vs. felt) about things. The short summation is the person I was is not the person I am now, in the sense that I'm 43, I no longer feel any connection (emotional or otherwise) to the past and I think I'm more comfortable in my own skin than I've ever been. Once freed from those limitations and constrictions, I'm feeling the now in a way I'd hoped. Yes, there have been many ups and downs over these years, but it's all part of the lesson (duh!). It's like going through the closet and instead of lamenting "oh, this doesn't fit me anymore, boo hoo hoo", you smile and say "yes, this is a bit out of date and not for me anymore". That's the only rational approach. Funnily enough, I actually did go through my closets recently and purged even more of what I used to have/wear, etc. If I'm being honest, the most oft-repeated phrase was "what was I thinking?"--then Liz and I would laugh over it.

I think I have it down to a fine science now, anyway. At this age, I buy standards: a few pairs of jeans, plain t-shirts, cargo pants, practical coats and sweaters and that's it (I'm not including proper work attire, by the way). No more extraneous, flashy or hip-for-the-moment bullshit. You just end up looking stupid. CD's and books--if I haven't looked at or listened to a certain piece for more than say four or five years, it can be sold off, etc. People are a bit different; they disappear for a while, then reappear. The thing to do is be able to gauge who they are and where they're at when they get back in touch; this way, you're prepared to deal appropriately.

There are times when this blog was used as a means of venting my spleen; of letting loose the thoughts/emotions/views permeating my brain or just a place to spew. I've always tried to use this forum as a means of honesty; at times, I was too honest. I'm not apologizing; I just see the difference between me then and now. Someone recently said to me "you seem so much more relaxed. What happened?". I'm sure it wasn't meant in a crass manner, to which my answer was "Time... the beauty and politics of time."

A far more on-target statement would be that I won't use this blog as some form of bully pulpit for my views on politics, religion, etc. There are too many self-righteous assholes out there and I don't need to be given static for what I may or may not believe in. The louder you shout your beliefs at me, the more deaf I become. So why do I want to do that to whoever reads this blog?

One final thing that I've found very interesting. I've gotten a few e-mails and passing comments in conversation pertaining to The Punch Line. The gist was that these good folks had heard through some grapevine that the band were planning on getting back together in the new year. For the record, I haven't been in touch with anyone from The Punch Line, be it verbal or written--this is news to me. If there is a kernel of truth, I'd certainly like to hear it from any one of my former bandmates so we can discuss it. My curiosity is piqued but until I know otherwise, I am in doubt. Never say never, but keeping in mind that I own the name, publishing of the music, etc., nothing could be done legally without either my participation or permission. Until I get an e-mail or the phone rings, the band's non-existence remains status-quo.