ManicRobThrill

Friday, September 03, 2010

Re-energized

Vacation week draws to a close and while I managed to pick up a dreadful summer cold in the process, all in all, I would rate this a success just by virtue of no phone calls or disturbances from the office. Time in my own space and my own head did me a lot of good. I spent a lot of time with the special one; all I can say is we had one day that was what I consider a gift from God. Seriously. I won't even try to explain it; the emotions ran higher and deeper than I could have imagined.

At the moment, I do feel a sense of the opposite; I feel like we reached a height and are now starting a downward spiral, albeit slowly. Maybe it's the fact that we were both tired and run down yesterday and this morning; maybe she's regained her fears--maybe I'm wrong and we aren't walking down the same path. No matter what, I'm truthfully sad right now and I can't talk to her about it because I need to make sure I have the right words in hand.

Yet, because of this somewhat negative turn, I started writing "Pull Down The Walls" and I'm nearly done. If it's because she's inspired me with this sadness, then so be it. I feel better for putting thoughts to paper and then to guitar, but I would prefer her inspiration to be felt from the joy she's injected into my life, not the turbulence her emotional changes wind up dragging me into.

Am I wrong? Probably. Do I know if there truly will be a happier outcome? I doubt it. I confess the doubt, but it's now there.

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