Fighting the good fight

I admit - again - I am not in the best frame of mind since I took this job.  It's taking a physical, let alone emotional, toll on me.

These are the simple facts, with no hyperbole or self-pity:

- the person in the position I was hired for doesn't last a year; constant turnover

- same applies with general staff.  No one - save for three people - have been there longer than a year

- the director is abusive on countless levels:  constant belittling, criticizing, poor communication.  Saying something once to a person does not mean they will automatically understand or remember it.  

- I now have constant anxiety which is an uncomfortable and difficult thing to cope with.  I don't know if I should see a doctor at this point, but I cannot seem to control it and it's frightening.

Without being flippant, I would welcome being let go so I can breathe again.  I'm doing everything possible to find a new job as quickly as possible and leave under my own volition, but I cannot see this continuing for much longer; it's dragging me down completely.

I feel so disconnected; I have no joy and I want a reason to laugh and smile; I want to be engaged in conversations with friends and loved ones, but I find it hard to concentrate.  It's an unhealthy, disturbing obsession and I'm not sure how to navigate this.