Sunday, August 19, 2007

An open letter

Sometimes it's better for me to remain quiet. A time like now, I think it's better for me to try and write the things I've been thinking and unable to say.

I'm wiped out. This last two month period has been difficult. Work has had me stressed out beyond words. I throw up in the morning; I'm nervous; I have very poor sleep patterns--more often than not, I've been waking up at 3 a.m. and not able to fall back asleep. I'm overworked. The office move is something I haven't been able to diffuse from yet and I don't know how to relax. I'm both unhappy and frustrated with my current situation. I love my job; I respect my colleagues and bosses, but I feel I'm under constant pressure and must not fail or make mistakes--which I know is wrong and unrealistic.

I've forgotten how to have fun; I have no social life anymore and I'm constantly tired. I get up, go to work, work from about 8:30 to 5, commute home and veg in front of the T.V. I don't play my guitar; I haven't been writing; I haven't picked up the camera or a book for the longest time. I find it difficult to say what I want to say; I'm usually too tired to string together coherent thoughts.

I need to see my doctor for a full exam, which I haven't had since '05. I need to regain my positive mindset and my good physical health.

I need to do it now. I need to take some time off work, just like everyone else. Some well-earned vacation time. I need to spend at least 3 - 4 days going to the gym to get back into a routine. I need to have at least 3 - 4 nights' uninterrupted sleep.


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