ManicRobThrill

Monday, September 06, 2010

Summer's closing and so is the book...

As I began to say in my last posting, the lyrics have been pouring onto paper: "Pull Down The Walls", "Take It Or Leave It", "Wooden Days", "Novelty" and "Things We Never Said" are now done. All that's left to do is start recording them. Add to that "She Is The Light" and you have half an album of all-new material. The thing is while "She Is The Light" is an open declaration of my love for the special someone, the other four songs represent where I feel we're heading which is to the end.

I can't seem to shake this physical malady and I can't shake the sadness that I've felt with this disconnect between us. It's there--I feel it--and I don't know if I have the wherewithal to fight for something that may not be worth fighting for. Real love is one thing but arbitrary love is another. I will not yield to being subservient in a relationship--if we are not equal, forget it. I can compromise with ease; I cannot kowtow. As loathe as I am to admit this here--but then again, I've come clean about many painful things in this blog--when I came home yesterday from what I consider to be a "weekend gone wrong", I cried for about half an hour trying to make sense of what suddenly has become so taxing and senseless.

So the biggest words in the world become my mantra of the moment: "we'll see". And right now, I don't feel there's any further that we can go; this may have been just a supernova and not a star for the ages.

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