Saturday, January 29, 2005

There is no language in our lungs

An observation... the raping and pillaging of my beloved English language.

Ever notice the following:
a) Someone who glibly fancies themselves as "smart" or "learned", using words they don't really understand the meanings of OR the inability to phrase things in the proper context. Syntax discrepancies get on my nerves as much as "double speak". What are you talking about?

b) Using "big" words to sound like they're educated when they know fuck all. You've come across these types, I'm sure.

c) Repetition. Finding that one "big" word or phrase that they use over and over again, hammering home the tiresome point until you either acknowledge them (and pat them on the head for learning such a word) or justifiably end their wretched existence, thus doing a service for future generations. Lessens the possibility of "idiots breeding idiots". God help us.

What do they all have in common? That they're uneducated buffoons. In my day, they were commonly referred to as "morons". In our politically-correct world, I'm not sure what you call them. Probably this year's graduating class.

The point (or observation) I'm making is that instead of trying to impress people with speaking in a fancy manner, but being wrong, clumsy and ill-defined, it would suit these silly bastards (who I get irritatingly stuck with listening to) better to say what they mean PROPERLY. Oh, and get to the fucking point. The meandering drivel of the uneducated fascinates, amazes and nauseates me.

Am I a snob? Do I sound pious and self-righteous? Yes. And I refuse to apologize. I'm educated and damned proud of it. My parents, who had no money, raised me to have the best education I could have; achieve the highest grades I could muster and become the finest person I was capable of being. And I am. So if I sound like I'm on my moral high horse with this subject, fuck you; I'm not apologizing. No one has excuses for sounding like a fucking idiot.

And I (like so many of my counterparts) are dog-tired of hearing things said, spelled and written wrong.

So please--shut the fuck up. I beg you--on behalf of those of us who don't like it when you mangle English to make yourself sound knowledgeable. The truth is you speak like an asshole--no, really, you do.


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