Don't take this the wrong way but...
One of my favorite weapons of defining idiocy is the build-up phrase. Think about it--someone starts a sentence with one of these phrases that is supposed to soften the verbal blow. I have little tolerance for people in general and even less for friends (a view that Liz, myself and my two closest friends share in total), so when someone utters one of these, I take a deep breath and ready myself for the retaliatory assault, which does not equal insults or shouting; rather, I become sweetly condescending and thoroughly insincere.
Amongst my favorites:
"Don't take this the wrong way, but..." -- the best contradiction of all. You know an insult is coming when someone says this. Or they're putting themselves in some light of importance over you. A dangerous one for taking someone down with! I love it.
"What I meant was..." -- the backpeddler's special.
"You know, I never read your blog until the other day..." -- bullshitter's delight. You just so happened to read a posting on that particular day; until then it was never a thought? Oh, how they sit upon a throne of lies (rolling my eyes and extending my arms to the heavens). I've gotten that one so often now that I've run out of digits to count on. Such self-importance; most of these sorry cunts think it's always about them; I wish a pox on 'em for that. I know a lot of people and a lot of them I just can't stand. C'est la vie. Long-term hypocracy has never been good for my digestive system (see my prior postings about an ex-girlfriend and how many e-mails and calls I got about that. Fuckers. Mind your own business and get a life). You know, for all the shit I get about this blog, I should be wealthy. Go buy my album instead, you cheap pricks. THEN complain.
"You know, that's not really you..."--I also love that one. Whether it's the music I listen to, my political stance or my (apparently offensive to some) forthright, I get this a lot. Who the fuck are you to say what is and isn't me? You aren't me.
"Oh, but you love...". No, I don't. I may have liked something years ago, but that was then and this is now. Get out of the past--or at least leave me out of it. Reiteration: people are dumb.
There's also the unwarranted criticisms and opinions offered. Someone recently got a free copy of The Punch Line's album. This person gave me an unrequested critique on my lyrical skills and the fact that I did the artwork, wrote all the songs, etc.--how about saying "I didn't like it" and leave it at that. You're not qualified as a critic; you did nothing to assist in the creation in this record, so how about keeping your mouth shut? What did you ever do in your life? Have you written an album? You didn't buy it--if you don't like it say "I didn't like it" and have done with it. That's what one of my closest friends and most-trusted confidants said, no messing. "It's not for me; I understand what you were doing, but not my cup of tea". And THAT has value. Another of my near-and-dears slammed two of the songs on their vocal merits and didn't like some of the production. A valid point. People who are casual acquaintances need to learn basic etiquette. Especially the uneducated. And before I get a slew of e-mails, I know--opinions are like assholes.
Editor's note--if I say one word in my defense or retaliation, it's ALWAYS the ever-lovin' "I can't believe you just said that..." and then the weepy reprisals begin. Surprise: even when I apologize, I'm not sorry; I'm just using empty words as I can't be bothered listening to the whining and the moral indignation. You get what you deserve. Especially if you're going to provoke me unnecessarily. 90% of my acquaintances seem to love the wind-up. It must give them some over-compensatory superiority complex. Peasants, really!
Why, why, why do I write these things? Why would I say these horrible things about my friends? Don't I know people may read this and think I'm talking about them? Yes I do. It doesn't matter. It's very easy for people to say to me where and why and how I'm being a shit when it's convenient for them and THEN they'll ask for favors or money with no compunction of realizing their behavior. I listen; then I report. And if you think this blog is about you, you must be feeling some guilt over your actions (you're so vain).
Not having wasted a raining Saturday, I went to work for a few hours and then came home to write, design and ship off the one-sheets for The Punch Line's album. As it was pointed out to me last night (in a very critical word), since I'm doing all the work, I have to get this done for the sake of selling points to the distributors. Okay--take a deep breath and get it done--so I did. I'm a pro; work for enough record labels in your life and you know there are certain tools needed. This is one. So the packages went out with the noon mail.
Off to change clothes. Dinner with friends this evening. The joys of a civilized Saturday night.
So guys, if you're reading this--hey, don't take it the wrong way.
Amongst my favorites:
"Don't take this the wrong way, but..." -- the best contradiction of all. You know an insult is coming when someone says this. Or they're putting themselves in some light of importance over you. A dangerous one for taking someone down with! I love it.
"What I meant was..." -- the backpeddler's special.
"You know, I never read your blog until the other day..." -- bullshitter's delight. You just so happened to read a posting on that particular day; until then it was never a thought? Oh, how they sit upon a throne of lies (rolling my eyes and extending my arms to the heavens). I've gotten that one so often now that I've run out of digits to count on. Such self-importance; most of these sorry cunts think it's always about them; I wish a pox on 'em for that. I know a lot of people and a lot of them I just can't stand. C'est la vie. Long-term hypocracy has never been good for my digestive system (see my prior postings about an ex-girlfriend and how many e-mails and calls I got about that. Fuckers. Mind your own business and get a life). You know, for all the shit I get about this blog, I should be wealthy. Go buy my album instead, you cheap pricks. THEN complain.
"You know, that's not really you..."--I also love that one. Whether it's the music I listen to, my political stance or my (apparently offensive to some) forthright, I get this a lot. Who the fuck are you to say what is and isn't me? You aren't me.
"Oh, but you love...". No, I don't. I may have liked something years ago, but that was then and this is now. Get out of the past--or at least leave me out of it. Reiteration: people are dumb.
There's also the unwarranted criticisms and opinions offered. Someone recently got a free copy of The Punch Line's album. This person gave me an unrequested critique on my lyrical skills and the fact that I did the artwork, wrote all the songs, etc.--how about saying "I didn't like it" and leave it at that. You're not qualified as a critic; you did nothing to assist in the creation in this record, so how about keeping your mouth shut? What did you ever do in your life? Have you written an album? You didn't buy it--if you don't like it say "I didn't like it" and have done with it. That's what one of my closest friends and most-trusted confidants said, no messing. "It's not for me; I understand what you were doing, but not my cup of tea". And THAT has value. Another of my near-and-dears slammed two of the songs on their vocal merits and didn't like some of the production. A valid point. People who are casual acquaintances need to learn basic etiquette. Especially the uneducated. And before I get a slew of e-mails, I know--opinions are like assholes.
Editor's note--if I say one word in my defense or retaliation, it's ALWAYS the ever-lovin' "I can't believe you just said that..." and then the weepy reprisals begin. Surprise: even when I apologize, I'm not sorry; I'm just using empty words as I can't be bothered listening to the whining and the moral indignation. You get what you deserve. Especially if you're going to provoke me unnecessarily. 90% of my acquaintances seem to love the wind-up. It must give them some over-compensatory superiority complex. Peasants, really!
Why, why, why do I write these things? Why would I say these horrible things about my friends? Don't I know people may read this and think I'm talking about them? Yes I do. It doesn't matter. It's very easy for people to say to me where and why and how I'm being a shit when it's convenient for them and THEN they'll ask for favors or money with no compunction of realizing their behavior. I listen; then I report. And if you think this blog is about you, you must be feeling some guilt over your actions (you're so vain).
Not having wasted a raining Saturday, I went to work for a few hours and then came home to write, design and ship off the one-sheets for The Punch Line's album. As it was pointed out to me last night (in a very critical word), since I'm doing all the work, I have to get this done for the sake of selling points to the distributors. Okay--take a deep breath and get it done--so I did. I'm a pro; work for enough record labels in your life and you know there are certain tools needed. This is one. So the packages went out with the noon mail.
Off to change clothes. Dinner with friends this evening. The joys of a civilized Saturday night.
So guys, if you're reading this--hey, don't take it the wrong way.
posted by R L Ross at
4:02 PM
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