Weekend rewind (time for truth, finally)
As the previous posting stated, The Punch Line played together on Saturday night. It was the last time this version of the band will play together. I feel that I have no desire to pretend any longer. I am walking out on this configuration. I do not enjoy it. I am not musically/creatively--call it what you want--fulfilled; I am not having any fun and I do not enjoy doing all the work; having it left in my lap and footing all the costs. Enough is really enough. I would prefer to say it's over and not wind up disliking Bob and Chris for the sake of carrying on a farce.
I was uncomfortable with the way things were done and arranged on Saturday. The fact that a rehearsal was booked because of a visitor is shameful. What makes matters worse is that I had said to the visitor "I'll bet if you ask to arrange a rehearsal, it'll happen. If I ask, it won't". And I was unfortunately right. So that was the moment when I said it's over and I went along, obligingly played and thankfully, Liz was with me, because it may have ended right in the middle--the minute we were outside, she said "I've never seen you so obviously wanting to be somewhere else".
I'm putting all of this behind me and moving forward. On I go with a new line-up and the idea of playing for fun, which this was not.
Discomfort is something I don't like. If I don't enjoy a book, I stop reading it. If I don't like a movie, I walk out. Thus, these "friendships" are (for lack of a better phrase) not worth it. So I will jettison them. I'm not trying to insult or put down anyone; I just don't want to fake friendship because of time. Unfortunately, friendships end.
I don't feel bad about any of this anymore. I did, initially, as I felt that maybe there was some room for compromise, but the facts are I have grown beyond these people. I have grown beyond playing in a band. I have grown up. I am 41. I am not 22; I do not wish to pretend to be 22 and I do not wish to keep putting on the costume of comfortable old patterns for the sake others.
The Punch Line with Chris and Bob are finished; I have purged them from the band, since it is "my band" and they haven't shown any care or concern towards this project. So are the constrictions of friendships that only bring back diminshing returns. There's really nothing more in this for me--what, more bills? More excuses why no one can get together to rehearse and work at being a band? It's foolish. Between the nights Bob and I spent talking about replacing Chris, cataloging the list of reasons why he was not healthy for the band and then not getting rid of him, it seems so pointless. Not Bob's fault entirely, but if we'd said to Chris together what needed to be said, I wouldn't have erased the rhythm section in its' entirety. But I have no desire to be obligated to anyone in a band, so here I called the final shots and they had to go.
I am now free of the past. This version of the band should have ended after Memorial Day '05. That it didn't because we were recording is ridiciulous, but my fault there. We finished the album; the job was completed and now I can pick up my life where it was without the inconvenience of this last Punch Line. You know, it was only a rock group.
I was uncomfortable with the way things were done and arranged on Saturday. The fact that a rehearsal was booked because of a visitor is shameful. What makes matters worse is that I had said to the visitor "I'll bet if you ask to arrange a rehearsal, it'll happen. If I ask, it won't". And I was unfortunately right. So that was the moment when I said it's over and I went along, obligingly played and thankfully, Liz was with me, because it may have ended right in the middle--the minute we were outside, she said "I've never seen you so obviously wanting to be somewhere else".
I'm putting all of this behind me and moving forward. On I go with a new line-up and the idea of playing for fun, which this was not.
Discomfort is something I don't like. If I don't enjoy a book, I stop reading it. If I don't like a movie, I walk out. Thus, these "friendships" are (for lack of a better phrase) not worth it. So I will jettison them. I'm not trying to insult or put down anyone; I just don't want to fake friendship because of time. Unfortunately, friendships end.
I don't feel bad about any of this anymore. I did, initially, as I felt that maybe there was some room for compromise, but the facts are I have grown beyond these people. I have grown beyond playing in a band. I have grown up. I am 41. I am not 22; I do not wish to pretend to be 22 and I do not wish to keep putting on the costume of comfortable old patterns for the sake others.
The Punch Line with Chris and Bob are finished; I have purged them from the band, since it is "my band" and they haven't shown any care or concern towards this project. So are the constrictions of friendships that only bring back diminshing returns. There's really nothing more in this for me--what, more bills? More excuses why no one can get together to rehearse and work at being a band? It's foolish. Between the nights Bob and I spent talking about replacing Chris, cataloging the list of reasons why he was not healthy for the band and then not getting rid of him, it seems so pointless. Not Bob's fault entirely, but if we'd said to Chris together what needed to be said, I wouldn't have erased the rhythm section in its' entirety. But I have no desire to be obligated to anyone in a band, so here I called the final shots and they had to go.
I am now free of the past. This version of the band should have ended after Memorial Day '05. That it didn't because we were recording is ridiciulous, but my fault there. We finished the album; the job was completed and now I can pick up my life where it was without the inconvenience of this last Punch Line. You know, it was only a rock group.
posted by R L Ross at
7:55 AM
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