Who knows where the time goes?

Yes, I'm well aware that's Sandy Denny's most well-known and well-beloved song, but when you reach your 60th birthday, it seems quite appropriate.

What can I say?  Did I ever envision this - getting to this plateau in life?  Not sure - especially in light of the health issues of the last two years.  I remain vigilantly optimistic that the procedure in October has given me a positive extension and will hopefully stave off any major issues, so that's one thing to consider.  And I've been rebooting and starting to exercise again and mold my dietary intake very differently.  

I don't know if there's anything spectacular about this particular milestone birthday, but I do know I feel different.  What that difference is right now, I don't know.  But I'll let you know when I figure it out.

Reset and go...

And so the New Year begins and waking up to horrible news was not how I envisioned things to kick off 2025.  This New Orleans terrorist attack is not shocking, but it's beyond proper description and has clouded the day.

On the whole, last night - which has now become anti-climactic, when you don't drink, go out or party - was wonderfully calm, relaxing and quiet.  A light meal, some decent T.V. and a few texts and phone calls were just right.  The only minor drawback was I couldn't sleep - and somehow found myself watching a mini-marathon of old "Behind The Music" episodes on VH-1.  The year starts as a flashback!

So it's immediately back to work tomorrow; it should remain low-key, until at least Monday, when everyone is back and a very basic weekend of groceries and minor chores.

I can easily enjoy the start of my 60th year under these terms.

Happy New Year to all.

Twenty and onward...

It was twenty years ago yesterday that I made my first forays into the new (and at the time, trendy) world of blogging.  I can somewhat remember it - reading those initial posts, aside - and it was exciting.  

Hindsight being what it is, a lot of the early posts were much more stream of consciousness and maybe  not as well thought out as they should have been, but it's how I was feeling at the time.  As the years have rolled on, if I look back at some of the original posts, I do get a little bit of cringe and some embarrassment, but okay - at least they were (at that moment) honest.  

The funny thing is even though blogging has somewhat diminished, I still enjoy doing this - albeit without the frequency of my initial output.  And until this stops (not by my hand), I'll continue.  It's a good form of release and chronicling where I've been, where I'm at and where I may be going.

When I started, I was a few weeks shy of my 40th birthday; now I'm on the cusp of 60, which is both odd and alien.  As I've said to several people, this one is a little bit more difficult to digest and process.  It's the start of the final chapter and even though it's not meant to sound fatalistic, it's reality, nonetheless. 

If I were to meet the person who started this blog, I'm not sure I would like him, frankly.  A lot of his views and bluster were misplaced and misguided.  But time has taught me how to communicate better and think much more before speaking.  None of the things I used to do are part of my orbit; some external bits (like going to the gym for the sake of good health, etc.), but that's all part and parcel of growing and letting go.

So now this milestone is recorded and I can look at what may come next.  After a very unusual year, complete with surgery, vacations, shifts and further amputations as far as relationships, I can only hope that 2025 - and subsequently, my 60th year on the planet - will be a little more low-key and easier to navigate. 

Happy anniversary to this blog and happy holidays to all.

Nearly there again...

It's been about seven weeks since the procedure; the full recovery time is supposed to be between 6 and 8 weeks.  There are a few unexplainable, minor discomforts that still occur - when I'm walking.  I know I still cannot run - it's hard to describe.  But okay - I'll take my time.  Hopefully, all will be normal by the start of the new year, as I joined another gym; one near my office.  Everything else, thankfully, is fine and normal.  I have a "regular" blood test on Saturday and my 3-month check-up with my primary care doctor on the 21st.  I've been focused on weight loss and rest and hopefully, I'll be able to get off the cholesterol medication next.

It was a perfect Thanksgiving - warm; quiet, wonderfully relaxing and the food was amazing.  I kept myself in check and didn't overeat (I didn't need to); I took care of the minor tasks around the apartment that I wanted to; a quick grocery shop and having done the laundry when I got home on Wednesday made it all just right.

Obviously, I have a lot more to be thankful for this year - which I am.  And going forward, it's just a case of maintaining that proper balance, especially now - on the cusp of 60. 

Exhale even further...

Saw the urologist last Friday - I no longer need to take Flomax, which he prescribed two years ago and I don't need to see him until February; I don't even need to take a blood test the week before my next appointment with him.  Went to the eye doctor for my yearly exam - I don't need a new glasses prescription, either.  I'm counting my blessings - positive medical news for once.  

I even went so far as to book the plane tickets for our next vacation - Hilton Head Island, in August of next year.  I'd booked the hotel and the rental car, but wanted to wait until I'd had the surgery.  And I made a "vanity purchase" - I bought myself something I'd wanted since I was 19 years old - a Gaggia espresso/cappuccino maker.

It's been a very good week.  I'll take every win possible.

And soon enough, it'll be Thanksgiving - and I always look forward to that.  Even the grocery shopping.

Exhale and smile

It's already two weeks to the day since I had the surgery.  Apparently, it was fast, easy and went very well, according to my urologist/surgeon.  I don't remember going under the anesthesia; I do recall being awakened and told "okay, it's all over".  Granted - the physical pain afterwards was due to the catheter in me, which was an experience I hope to never have again.  Five days of strict bed rest after being sent home from the hospital (mobility was near-impossible); after I went out to the urologist for the catheter removal on the Tuesday, I was still a bit shaky.  But a day and a half at home to actually breathe helped and I was back at work, as of last Thursday.

There are very minor post-surgery lingering effects - some traces of blood in the urine, which is expected, but it's not alarming; some occasional light headedness and the fact that I can't walk as fast as I usually do - my stamina isn't quite up to par just yet.  But, given patience and time, it should stabilize.  The most stringent things that are not permitted during the recuperation period (6 to 8 weeks) is heavy lifting; no gym; no running, etc.  I basically need to be taking it easy.  

On the upside, I'm already feeling the major positive effects of the aquablation - I don't have to get up 3, 4 or 5 times a night; there's no straining and overall, it's been discomfort-free.  Whatever it's worth, I'm glad I did this.  It will bring down my PSA level and that will, in turn, help minimize the chances of prostate cancer.  To have surgery for the first time at 59 is unnerving.  Anyone who says otherwise is full of bravado and lying.  It's difficult because you don't know - something could go wrong.

I'm just very relieved to say in my case, it seems, everything went right.  And for that, I am grateful.

Twenty six...

I'm not being cryptic - if you know me, you know it's mine and Liz' 26th wedding anniversary today.  Glad to see that we're both still here and riding each wave together.

Tomorrow I have to go for "preadmission testing" at the hospital.  Nothing invasive or strenuous, I believe, and it should only take 2 hours, all in all.

I've tried to go over every possible detail in preparation for post-surgery, since I won't be driving or grocery shopping or going out for the few days after discharge.  I think I have all the details covered, save for actually placing the Fresh Direct order, which I will do as soon as the date opens.  

I don't know that I have anything else to say at the moment - I'm turning a blind eye to politics because everyone is so ill-informed, willfully ignorant and incapable of holding a rational, civil discussion.  The so-called "party" politics is just screaming, finger-wagging and frothing-at-the-mouth insanity.  And at this moment, I don't have any need for it.

Just going to try and float (so to speak) through the next week(s) and follow doctor's instructions so that I can go through the surgery, recovery and heal properly.