Riding the calm(er) surf

As it stands, I'm now completing my third week at this temp job and it seems to be going well.  Certainly, I've received many kind compliments and some surprisingly positive texts from the agency people, saying how "everyone there loves you - you're doing a great job".  It's a genuinely nice thing to hear/receive, but it's also reassuring.  

I'm not going to obsess, overthink or over-analyze why I feel this calmness - considering all that's tied into having left the last job at a particularly ill-timed moment.  Obviously, it wasn't my choice, but I'm untangling everything that could have been worse - if anything, I think I may be able to clear the decks while I'm in this state of "temp-to-perm" because I'm being financially smarter than before.  It's not willy-nilly debt or irresponsibility; it's simply correcting a tax error that needs to be paid off, which I'm doing - and paying down the minor credit card bill - which is also being taken care of.

You know, when it rains, it pours.  You have something that lasts for decade - then it breaks or has to be replaced and it costs.  And when several things go at once, it piles up.  That's all it is.  And it's being paid down.  I would love to pay bigger chunks faster, but okay - patience is the way.

A moment to breathe

For now, I can somewhat exhale.  I started a temp position this past week - interviewed last Friday; was told I had the job on Monday afternoon and started Tuesday morning.  As of the next three months, it's an hourly-paid position, at which time, it could go permanent.  It wouldn't be exactly as much as I had been making - less, actually - but it would be a solid salary and could lead to other opportunities.  Certainly, in the very brief time I've been here, the people are very nice - this is a different atmosphere than I have been used to over the last several years - and that is a welcome change.  

I've thought back over some of the jobs I've had and tried to understand why I wind up being the odd man out.  Sometimes, it's numbers - I get it.  Especially in a volatile climate, like we're in now.  Sometimes, it's the nature of the industry - like when I was in music.  It was frequent and it made things uncomfortable on a fairly regular basis.  Sometimes, it's mismanagement - when the powers that be really don't know what they want or what they're doing.  Regardless, I feel that I'm at that point of just listen, take notes, comply and be collegial - don't be any more than I am now.  Don't try to "fit" the atmosphere (like the record company days) - just breathe and pay attention.  

I don't know where this current position will go, but it would certainly be nice to have a solid paycheck and working with (so far) very nice people.  I don't need to be any loftier than that.  If something permanent were to come along, I would weigh it.  As it is, I've had numerous interviews over these last two weeks (and even prior to then) and they're all either trying to low-ball the salary or hem and haw.  Now I know why people have a defensiveness towards headhunters/recruiters - it's all smoke and mirrors and inevitably, they overplay their hand.  

While the agency that landed me this job was expeditious, I do think it's interesting that somehow, more agencies aren't as intensely driven to place people.  And - in a kind-of-funny twist, the only other time I got a job through an agency was Atlantic Records - who hired me the day I after I began as a temp.  A simple "you know, after one day, we really like you and want to know if you'd be interested in staying permanently" and that was it.  

In any event, I'm mildly relieved for the moment.  Taking the small pleasures in good people, great office atmosphere and convenient location - I'll take it.

Unforeseen changes

I had started another post as the spring began, but things have taken an unwanted (although not unexpected) turn - I was laid off from my job on March 28th.  I could feel something wasn't right - this began in the autumn - and in the last few weeks, it became much more uncomfortable.  I even said as much in my last post.  I had a sense of dread on Friday, which is something that doesn't often happen, but it did.  I packed my things and left quickly and quietly and now I'm trying to do everything possible to find something immediately.

It doesn't matter if it's part-time, full-time, contracted, etc. - I just want to be able to get back to working as quickly as possible.  I'm keeping myself occupied and focused and not allowing myself to slip into a state of panic or fear.  Moving forward and keeping positive is the only way to navigate things.

I've sent out numerous resumes (even before this happened); I accept and will take any interviews that are offered; been to meet with a headhunter in person and went to the Department of Labor to make sure that my signing-on for unemployment was done correctly and to set up meetings with their job search team.

This isn't a time for self-pity or hand-wringing; it just needs to be done.  And in those hours when I've exhausted the tasks necessary, I'll go to the gym to help my body and mind.

It's all anyone can do.