Righting wrongs

I did as much due diligence as possible when I was offered the two jobs last month.  There weren't any favorable reviews for either, when looking up their ratings as far as what it's like being an employee; both had nothing but negatives.  One offer was much more money but longer hours, further commuting and a contract position.  The job I accepted was permanent, convenient for travel, a bit more casual and less money.  Both were, frankly, no-win situations, but I felt I could steel myself into just focusing on learning the job and planting my feet.

I was wrong.  Within two days, I knew it is not going to be sustainable.  It would be silly to try and describe with accuracy what the atmosphere is like, because in so many ways, it's unbelievable.  The difference between this and my folly three years ago with that architecture firm I joined is that I know how to be able to maintain my mental and physical health, which I didn't at that time - I went into it blind and the consequences were dire.  Sadly, my fears were confirmed by the end of the first week, when a new co-worker who joined on my third day told me she was ready to quit after only 72 hours.  We had a good conversation in which I told her to try and hang on and not to let it affect her (I know - easier said...).  I said we need to try and learn as much as possible; it's our responsibility for the moment and to remember that at the end of each day, we're able to go home and be in our own space.  I think it was for both our benefits, but the fact that she was so uneasy so quickly just verified my own thoughts.

So I'm back to putting out resumes again;  I'm approaching this as if it's just a temp job - still making sure I do what I'm supposed to do, wr hen I'm supposed to do it; pay attention, take notes and do not allow myself to feel the stings of public embarrassment when the principle screams and insults me.  Just let it go immediately and keep working.

I honestly don't know how this firm has managed to stay in business with the way the staff is treated, but that's neither here nor there.  I just know what I have to do for the here and now.

Reset button

A few random thoughts, since this is New Year's Day...

I don't make resolutions.  I'm too old to do so and there's nothing I need "resolved".  It's a good time to go from reflection to pinpointing and correcting real/tangible items that may be an unnecessary hindrance in my life - and reaching obtainable goals.

Case and point:  I fasted today, as a means of starting the weight loss process again.  I begin my new job on Monday.  Within two paychecks, I think my credit card will be paid off.  Once that's done, I can replenish the money I'd taken out of my savings account.  I will be able to take the car in for the minor, but costly, repairs.  I will focus on learning this new job and doing what I can to eat healthy and exercise.  All very real and not difficult to gain - as long as I stay on track with these things.  If I can tick them off my checklist, one by one, these achievements will become my norm - which only makes my life better and (subsequently) easier.

I'm still ambivalent about music and writing.  I'll cross those bridges when I get closer to them.

It's definitely time to start thinking about leaving New York permanently.